Ending of a Season

Ending of seasons. They always get me. They always come with sugar overloads and a box of tissues. Maybe it’s my abandonment issues or my lack of being able to let go, but as much as I wanted this past season to end, it actually took me aback by how hard ending it was. But as hard as it was, it also made me look back and remember His Faithfulness and Goodness. It allowed me to see things in a different view.

I opened my journal from this past season and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I was so scared. So worried. So anxious. God was pushing me outside my comfort zone when He asked me to go to counseling or join a random small group or ask some random girl to change our coffee date to the next day or take a flight to Dubai. I was so scared, but each time I said yes with shaky hands and all. And you know what, those were the absolute best things of this past season. That trip reminded me that this season was coming to a close, and that He was about to fulfill His Promises to me. That small group led me to meet some of the greatest girls and allowed a safe place to share my heart for a time. And that random girl, well yeah she’s one of my Jesus sisters and someone who spoke so much truth into this past season and provided a lot of laughter in the wilderness. And the counseling was what God used to heal and redeem and restore me into who HE had created me to be. He provided a safe space for vulnerability and realness in a way I could never have thought would happen.

I wrote some notes from a podcast I had listened to in the middle of this past season, and my favorite quote was this:

“Perhaps what you are waiting for in your life carries more weight

than you realize and that is why you are waiting.”

This past season of waiting, of becoming, was hard. It was redefining who I was and who HE created me to be. It was a season of healing and redemption and restoration. It was a season of FREEDOM from anxiety and fears. It was a season that brought beauty from these ashes.
This morning it finally ended. I checked the last things off the list of “Becoming” and I cried through the hardness of saying “see you later.”

And as hard as this close of a season has been, it is a reminder that HE is forever faithful and good. That HE brought me through the wilderness, and that HE can heal and redeem and restore. That HE had a purpose and a plan and timing for this past season. And that what is coming will be more than I could ever imagine. Because if there is one thing I repeated to myself over and over again this past year, it was that “God works all things together for my good and HIS GLORY.”

So yes it hurts to say “see you later” and to close doors in a chapter, but I trust HIM and know that HE is working it all out in a way I could never even see or imagine. The best thing though? Is that I never have to travel without the Greatest Travel Buddy around. So wherever, whenever, however, and whoever this next season brings me; I am ready, with shaky hands and all.