In a sea of "I don't knows"

What will you do after one year? When are you leaving? What about stateside? When will you finish school? What about the finances to get/stay there? How will you get back for the wedding? What about your health?

I don't know. I don't know. And I still don't know. But I am slowly becoming okay with not knowing, simply because I realized some much greater answers that I do know.

My One True Love literally knows exactly how many breaths I will take on this earth, how many steps I will take until I am at home in heaven, and exactly which step will come next. My Ultimate Travel Buddy already has every single detail planned out from where I will live to what I will do hourly to how it will happen. He even has a certain seat number picked out for me on my plane headed across the oceans. He knows the most perfect timing for all of this to happen as well.

AND My Savior also knows exactly when they need me most over there. He is slowly preparing the heart of the most perfect person to take over things here on the States side: preparing their lives and growing the vision for His ministry inside of them as I type. He also knows exactly which plane will arrive on time so I can be there to watch my brother say "I do." He knows exactly which direction I will go after one year.

The reason I am becoming completely okay with all of my "I don't knows" is because I am absolutely positive of a couple of things.

1. My Savior, One True Love, and Ultimate Travel Buddy cares for and loves me deeply. He has every single detail planned out for the rest of my life (HE understands I am obsessed with details, and He promises He's taken care of every single one of them!) He also promises that as long as I cling to Him and let go of myself, He will always, always, always make my paths straight, direction clear, and His will be done.
2. No matter what, my heart lies across those seas. Always. That isn't going away. Ever. I deeply love and care for people I have never even met in a continent that lies halfway across the world. I believe in them and hope one day they believe in themselves and their potential. I love my family and friends over there (not more or less than my family and friends in the States), and I want to spend my time investing in them.
3. America will always be my origin. The place where I come to rest, regroup, and regain my focus. My safety net. My birth family and friends. I will always feel comfortable here and America will always hold a piece of my heart. It is very hard for me to walk away from this place as well.
4. Where God is taking me is much, much better for me. If there is one thing I have learned this past year it's that running from Ninevah will always get me stuck in a whale (I know cheesy, but oh so true) I wholeheartedly believe what He has planned is so much better than anything I could think of! Sometimes I just look back to remind myself how true this is.

So while I hate as much as everybody around me not knowing, I do value everyone's concerned, thoughtful, love driven advice. I know without doubt that this is where I need to be. When? I don't know. For how long? I don't know. What plane and what seat and what day? I don't know. But what about stateside? I don't know. And your health? I don't know.

But He does. He does. He does. Every single detail. Every single answer to our thousands of questions. He does.

Clinging to the steady answers in my life,
Liz